August 1, 2021

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The family was warm until I did a part-time job

5 min read

I am 28 years old, married since 19 years old. At that time we were in our second year of university under Hanoi.

My sister and I have known each other since 8th grade, we studied together until the end of high school and maintained a relationship until we got married. In 2013, my wife gave birth to her first baby girl, I became a father when I was a student, so the feeling is hard to describe. The wife has to reserve a year to raise a small child. Both parents have to take care of both the child and the grandchild. In the middle of 2016 we graduated from school, went back to our hometown together because we entrusted our daughter to our grandparents for the past 3 years, now we have to go back to take responsibility for our children. At the end of 2016 my parents let me live on my own with a plot of land in the countryside that already had a level four house, basically renovated to live for another 20 years, my small family life started from there.

I work for a construction company 25 km away from home, leaving in the morning and returning at night. His wife works as an office for the company in an industrial park near her house. Happy family life. At the beginning of 2018 we welcomed another baby boy. Grandma’s house is 4 km away, paternal house is 300m away, grandparents on both sides still help a lot. At the end of 2018, the couple accumulated and bought a 250 m2 land near their house, now worth about 800 million. Currently our total income is about 20 million per month, my salary accounts for 2/3 of that, after eating and spending, I save 10 million per month. Seeing that society is so developed, with the epidemic situation like this, I don’t want to be financially passive. I decided to work part-time, so my husband and I quarreled and argued for a month.

I discussed with my wife and asked for half of my savings to invest in a closed model pig farm at my parents’ house. Parents live with his brother but still create conditions for lending land to work. My parents have had experience in animal husbandry for decades, raising me to study and now from money selling pigs, selling cows… Someone took care of pigs for me when I went to work, so I was quite reassured and decided to do it. more. The wife protested vehemently but then still nodded in agreement with the attitude of “face disapproval”. I finished building the barn and got my first pigs to raise. The investment amount was not enough, so I had to borrow a little more without daring to tell my wife, fearing that she would worry about losing more money. Whenever I have free time, I take care of the pigs, so I spend less time with my family. My wife doesn’t like raising livestock, doesn’t care how I do it, so the husband and wife create some invisible distance.

I care and take care of my family, live a bit pragmatic; Regarding child care, I feel secure because my wife takes care of that part. The husband’s role in making money is usually bigger, so I try to work more, and the wife just wants her husband to work in a clean, fragrant office. There was a time when I argued, my wife scorned, looked down on my husbandry, told me I had no will to advance, and did not go far in the construction profession. I still work as a hired worker, still earn money, just do more work to earn extra income. I want to be close to my family, I want economic freedom because I can’t work for other people forever; When breeding has more income than hired labor, I will consider quitting construction altogether. There’s nothing wrong with just earning money, working for yourself, and spending a little money with your family early in the evening. Breeding also only thinks of advantages, but if there is a loss, I don’t know if the wife sympathizes or quarrels and berates each other?

The conflict about the part-time economy is not very smooth, where the 3-year-old boy’s education is a new controversy. It is normal for children to attend a public school kindergarten in the commune like many other children, but the wife wants her children to go to a private school in another commune because private schools are better, have surveillance cameras, and learn English (this private school is one of the most popular schools in the world). the family opens a teaching class, not a true school). I disagree because it’s far from home, it’s hard to pick up and drop off children in rainy and sunny days, sick, dangerous when going through intersections. Normally, grandparents can pick up and pick up their grandchildren when my husband and I come home late from work or if they are suddenly ill, if they attend a preschool 500 meters away from home, if they send their children to study outside, they have to take care of themselves. The mistakes of the two sides so far just kept pouring out, we were both hot-tempered, culminating in my wife demanding a divorce, smashing a bowl of rice during the meal (this I think only men do).

Remember when we were newly wed, our pregnant wife went to school, our difficult family could only provide basic support for the couple to live and study in Hanoi, we hid our parents from selling our wedding rings and computers to earn money for food. When they miss their children, at 11 o’clock at night, the couple goes to their hometown to meet, the next morning they go to Hanoi to study while their home is 60 km from the capital. How many difficulties and hardships the husband and wife have overcome together, but now there is no end to the conflict, living like a stranger, looking at the child and continuing to live, only responsible for the child. I don’t want to live like that, but I don’t know how to get along, I can’t sit and talk with my wife. My wife and I are like a car without brakes, really tired guys. This is the confession of a construction engineer who loves livestock, looking forward to sharing it with you.


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